The following post and testimony from the old RSQUBF message board illustrates how this false teaching of the "cursed woman's desire" is used to manipulate people's hearts and lives.

Author: kate

Subject: none

Marriage was discussed at almost every "one-to-one Bible study" it seemed. Somehow, two of my three teachers found a way of bringing up either the marriage problem or asking "who did I want to marry?" I'd say no one, and they'd reply that they would "get it out of me." Finally, I did decide to choose some one to please my teacher. I didn't choose one I liked (I didn't actually KNOW any shepherds; you aren't really given opportunities for conversation with the opposite sex there), so instead I chose one who I thought was the most "spiritually mature" from hearing many of his testimonies. My shepherdess was pleased, but now I wore the label of "cursed woman" and shouldn't think of the shepherd again.

Shortly after, she said the name of a different shepherd who was new (I thought) to UBF, and I was to "think about this shepherd."

As I neared 21 years old, the pressure was on. I was often called to SL's office just to hear about what a great degree and job and how good looking this perso n was and did I think I was too good for him? Soon, SL said, I would only be a tall, ugly woman. I hung my head. I felt ashamed and of course, not good enough to marry any shepherd. I wanted the issue to go away. I became very uncomfortable around this person. The worst was when my parents came to check out the UBF church and SL rushed to introduce them to the shepherd. Meanwhile, I stood to the side, feeling out of place. When my parents asked me if SL wanted to set us up on a date, I explained, "no, he wants us to marry." When they asked if I liked the person, I simply said, "you have just spent more time face to face with him than I ever have." It was strange and unromantic and confusing.
After leaving UBF, I found out that the shepherd had been told that he and I were engaged. If that is true, then people were playing games with us, because I was never told I was engaged. (how strange it is to find out you were engaged and didn't even know it!!) How sad to play with peoples' hearts in such a way. That was my experience with UBF marriage. I hope it helps you in some way, UBF soul.